Long ago, in a land far away, lived a young shepherd who
went by the name of Sylvester. He preferred that his friends, all of thirty two
sheep, a sheepdog and a rooster, call him Syl. He'd been insistent on this
point multiple times, but his friends never seemed to heed his words. The dog,
beleaguered by the incessant cries of the rooster every morning, bullied the
sheep at every opportunity presented. The sheep directed much of their
displeasure at the rooster with a pile of droppings at his doorstep every night,
only to make the rooster cry even louder at sunrise. Amidst all the crowing,
bullying and sullying, Silly Ol' Syl, as the village boys often referred to
him, would sit and dream. He dreamt of a day when he would fall in love with a
beautiful princess, a day when he'd rule the entire countryside as their King.
And have as many children as the number of sheep in his flock. Every time
though, his dream would be broken by an intrusive bleat from the sheep.
"Darn it! There goes a nice fantasy!" he would think. The day would
end in Syl unleashing the dog to herd them home.
Not too far away from the grasslands was a brook, where a
princess enjoyed the occasional splash with her maids. On one such morning, a
young prince walked into the grounds and found himself enamored by the fair
maiden's beauty. "What a work of nature you are, Princess!" exclaimed
the Prince, as the flower of the royal gardens looked up. "You, with eyes
as dark as a moonless night, and a face radiant as a moon, shining bright! My
throne hence shall be your right! Marry me, Princess and we shall live a happy
life!" said the Prince, charm oozing out of every pore. "Charmed,
Prince. But I can offer nothing you seek. The best I can do is a peck on your
cheek. For my life belongs to a Dragon now, so tall and mighty, even mountains
bow!" saying so, she turned away. "Aha! So a dragon it is that hounds
you Princess? Fear not, for I shall slay him for you!" said the Prince. "No!
That is.." she began but he butted in, cutting her short. "I shall
punch him in the nose, leave him bloody as a rose, grab him by the tail and
cast him away, without fail!" he went on. "Oh shut up Prince! You're
so daft!" saying so, the Princess left. And her maids followed.
"So Sheldon, tell me more about this Dragon" the
Prince continued, consulting his aide, after the Princess took leave. "I
hear he's the most despicable creature these lands have seen, Sire" said
Sheldon, "with a vile breath and a grisly face, one blow from his
misshapen nostrils can set anyone on fire, or so they say!". "Hmm,
that doesn't sound very encouraging!" the prince thought aloud, when he
heard a rustle. "Baa" interrupted a voice. "Sheldon look,
someone's hiding behind the bush!". Sheldon and the guards acted quickly
and withdrew Syl and a ewe from the shrub. He had been hiding there all along,
listening to the fascinating conversation that had come to pass.
"Eavesdropping on our Prince, are ye? Pay for it you shall!" said
Sheldon, drawing a whip. "Wait!" said the Prince, with a twinkle in his
eye. "I know how to make this one pay. Wretched shepherd, you shall fight
the dragon today for me! Here, wear my cape and take my horse! Anyone watching
from below the hills should think that it is me fighting the foul creature! If
you win, I shall take the glory and win the Princess! And if you lose, well,
never mind, for I will not end up as the dragon's dinner. March on,
slave!". As he stood there in
horror, Syl hardly felt the guards draping him in the Prince's attire and
seating him on the horse. They took him up the hill, to where the dragon lived.
"Go on now, and win me my treasure!" said the Prince, "I shall
wait a few miles from here, ready to ride down the hill victorious!"
Syl walked into the den of the beast, trembling with fear.
The place was reeking with the foul odor of rotten meat. As he approached
another chamber, he saw something scraped on the wall. It looked like a
picture, with a frame carved in. He could make out what appeared to be two
large, ugly looking creatures, one with a bow around his neck and another
wearing a bridal maid. 'Emily and Ross, Forever' it said, at the bottom of the
frame. "Looks like this family might have a guest for dinner tonight,
except the guest might be the dinner!" thought Syl, gloomily. As he
entered the chamber and caught first sight of what was in store, Syl stood
aghast. In front of him lay Ross the dragon, stretched out on the floor, on his
giant belly. He could see whiffs of smoke emerging from those horrid nostrils,
as the dragon exhaled and drew long breaths in his sleep. The clumsy oaf still
had his wedding bowtie around his neck, except it had been turned the wrong way
over his back. He seemed to be drooling onto a letter lying next to his hand.
Syl picked up the letter and started reading it. However wrong it may be to read
another's mail, no respect need be reserved for the harbinger of death, he
thought. "Ross my love, leave that wretched fool of a wife and come take
me away! We shall live happily together high up in the mountains, as we've
always fantasized! Love, P". "Aha, a love affair outside
wedlock!" thought Syl. "For all the unsightly features that he
beheld, Ross the dragon must be quite a playboy to have enchanted a concubine
to his court!" Syl wondered. Suddenly, Ross moved. A swing of his humongous
arm left Syl sprawling on the floor, with the letter stuck below the dragon's
giant fist. If he awoke now, he would go wild on learning that a puny shepherd
had learned of his illicit pleasures, thought Syl. He tried to force the letter
out only to have it tear into half. Instantly, Ross awoke with a sweeping
motion of his hand, which threw Syl into the air but landed him safe on the
bow around the dragon's neck. Syl sat still, clutching on to the bow, hoping
Ross would not notice his puny form. A few tense moments passed.
Ross the dragon was a fun loving chap. Except that he loved
having fun a bit too much and had to keep his fiancée in the dark about most of
his doings. Now that he was married, it was time to try and set his life
straight, he thought. He still loved his mistress but knew that he would never
survive a day if Emily ever found out. Emily was no ordinary creature of his
tribe. She'd blown away, with her flaring nostrils, many a dragon who had tried
to court her in younger days. That was until she fell for Ross. He could never
understand what she saw in him. But hey, love is blind, he thought. He also
knew that he would end up blind, with a few limbs missing if she ever got to
know about his affair. And it was this fear that first struck home, when he discovered
the letter from his lover, lying in shreds next to him. "Had she found
out?" he wondered anxiously. "Is she away, plotting how to rip me
into pieces? Oh God! Why am I choking? Has she poisoned me in my sleep?"
cried aloud Ross, as the bowtie sagged under Syl's weight, tightening around
Ross' neck. Syl, who had so far been counting his lucky stars for not being
spotted, was struck by a scheme so devious, he almost let go of the bow to pat
himself on the back. He decided to play a little trick on the dragon and
planned his escape.
"Ross, Oh Ross!" called out Syl in a slow, low
voice, adding more than one 's' needed in Ross' name.
"Who's that? Is someone in here?" cried out Ross,
looking around in a state of panic, unaware of tiny Syl riding on his neck.
"This is your conscience Ross!" cried out Syl.
"My what? What are you doing here?"
"You're choking Ross! And we will die here tonight if
you let the guilt kill you!"
"Oh no, please! I don't want to die! I know I'm guilty
but I can't take this stranglehold any longer!" Ross cried aloud.
"There is only one way out of guilt Ross -
Confess!" proclaimed Syl.
"To Emily? She'll kill me!" declared Ross.
"And if you don't, the guilt will get you. And ours
shall be a slow and painful death, Ross. Think about it. We know our girl
Emily. If you confess and fall at her feet, she might just forgive you! Maybe a
week or two on the couch and soon you'll be back in bed, happy as ever!"
As Ross weighed the odds, the noose tightened around his
neck making it easy for him to decide.
"Confess Ross, you must confess!" Syl continued
the haunting.
"Yes, I shall do it, yes!"
"Go now Ross, before it is too late!"
"Yes, Emily dear, where are you? I can explain
everything! Please.." Ross headed out, dragging along Syl around his neck.
Emily the dragon had risen earlier that day with a nasty
headache. Ross' incessant snoring had hardly allowed her a good night's sleep,
leaving her in a foul mood for any conversation. She'd tried flying up to the
mountain peak looking for some dragonroot to help ease her pain but a storm up
there had forced a retreat. And it was in this annoyed state that she was met
by an agitated Ross.
"Emily dear, before you say or do anything drastic,
please let me explain!" pleaded Ross.
"Explain what?" snapped Emily, with hardly a mind
to attend to Ross.
"I must confess, my love! I've been engaging in a
dreadful affair with a mistress for some time now! I .." Ross began when
Emily interrupted - "What? You've had an affair? All these days?"
burst out Emily.
Ross slowly nodded his head, trying to plead with his wife.
“Please forgive.." - Wham! The next thing he knew, Ross was seeing stars
and his nose had turned into a bright red ball of blood. As Emily withdrew her
fist preparing for a second blow, Syl held on to the bow. Ross staggered like a
drunk. She landed a hard right hand on his chin, forcing Ross high up into the
air. Syl managed to let go at the right time, sliding on the dragon's back and
down its tail. Meanwhile, a small crowd had gathered at the bottom of the
hills. All they could see was a figure in a cape, holding on to the tail of a
giant monster that seemed to have been knocked straight into the air.
"Bravo, young Prince!" cried someone down there.
The real Prince, meanwhile, watched all the action from a neighboring
peak behind the dragon hill, wearing a smug smile. It had all gone according to
plan, he thought. The shepherd had managed to defeat the beast and one of his
stooges had ensured that it was all watched by a crowd, including the Princess,
from the grasslands below. "Ha! Time to ride down and proclaim victory!
Time to sweep my darling Princess off her feet and ride home with her! Time for
wedding bells to..."
As the pompous Prince busied himself in self-glory, he
neither heard Sheldon shriek in horror, nor noticed the giant shadow growing
quickly on the ground beneath his feet. The last sight he ever caught was a
large pair of dragon wings and a rock hard spine lodged between them, headed straight
for him from the skies. Such had been the grand wallop that Emily had inflicted
on Ross, sending him bouncing from hill to hill.
Syl, who'd managed to land into a prickly shrub, busied
himself picking out the thorns from his back, when he heard the cheer from down
below. He stood up and took stock of the situation. Emily the dragon had taken
off to sob on her dear father's shoulder, high up in the mountains. The evil
Prince had been quashed into ketchup by Ross on the hill behind, leaving him
the only figure standing tall in a cape that the crowd below celebrated.
"Well, this is more than I'd hoped for!" thought a delighted Syl. He
quickly mounted his horse and headed down the hill, his arm raised in victory.
As Syl rode into cheers of 'Hail, brave Prince!', the young
Princess came running to him. Syl alighted from his steed and began in a
spirited voice- "Fear not Princess, for I have slain the beast that has
tormented you for long! 'Tis only right that a brave young man like me walk the
aisle, hand in hand, with your graceful form. Marry me, love!".
"You idiot!" shrieked the Princess, to everyone's
shock. "What have you done with him?" she cried in disgust.
Suddenly, a dark cloud gathered over the crowd. A large
creature descended from the skies, looking bruised all over. Ross huffed and
puffed as he made his way down and grabbed the Princess by her waist.
"Princess! come away with me...Emily's gone...not
anymore..we both together, forever!" Ross wheezed.
"Oh Ross, my love!" exclaimed the Princess, as the
stupefied crowd watched on. "Are you hurt? Is it true? Can we fly away to
the mountains? But what if she comes back?" she cried out, hurling
multiple anxious queries at Ross, while he gathered his breath.
"Fear not love, for I shall promptly obtain a
restraining order against her from the Court of the Dragons! I shall even
register a plaint for domestic violence! Now come, we must hurry before that
witch sets her father on my trail!" saying which, Ross lodged the Princess
gently on his back and flew high up into the skies.
Syl stood traumatized by what he had just witnessed.
"What just happened?" he wondered. His mind went back to Ross'
letter. "'...Love,P'. P? Was P the P in Princess? the Princess and Ross,
the dragon?". Who on earth would have dreamt of it? But is love really
that blind? Syl stood there lost in thought.
"Baa" interrupted someone. The sheep were back, as
always bringing silly Ol' Syl back to reality. "Darn it! There goes a nice
fantasy!" thought Syl, looking up at the skies.