There goes a nice fantasy!

Long ago, in a land far away, lived a young shepherd who went by the name of Sylvester. He preferred that his friends, all of thirty two sheep, a sheepdog and a rooster, call him Syl. He'd been insistent on this point multiple times, but his friends never seemed to heed his words. The dog, beleaguered by the incessant cries of the rooster every morning, bullied the sheep at every opportunity presented. The sheep directed much of their displeasure at the rooster with a pile of droppings at his doorstep every night, only to make the rooster cry even louder at sunrise. Amidst all the crowing, bullying and sullying, Silly Ol' Syl, as the village boys often referred to him, would sit and dream. He dreamt of a day when he would fall in love with a beautiful princess, a day when he'd rule the entire countryside as their King. And have as many children as the number of sheep in his flock. Every time though, his dream would be broken by an intrusive bleat from the sheep. "Darn it! There goes a nice fantasy!" he would think. The day would end in Syl unleashing the dog to herd them home.

Not too far away from the grasslands was a brook, where a princess enjoyed the occasional splash with her maids. On one such morning, a young prince walked into the grounds and found himself enamored by the fair maiden's beauty. "What a work of nature you are, Princess!" exclaimed the Prince, as the flower of the royal gardens looked up. "You, with eyes as dark as a moonless night, and a face radiant as a moon, shining bright! My throne hence shall be your right! Marry me, Princess and we shall live a happy life!" said the Prince, charm oozing out of every pore. "Charmed, Prince. But I can offer nothing you seek. The best I can do is a peck on your cheek. For my life belongs to a Dragon now, so tall and mighty, even mountains bow!" saying so, she turned away. "Aha! So a dragon it is that hounds you Princess? Fear not, for I shall slay him for you!" said the Prince. "No! That is.." she began but he butted in, cutting her short. "I shall punch him in the nose, leave him bloody as a rose, grab him by the tail and cast him away, without fail!" he went on. "Oh shut up Prince! You're so daft!" saying so, the Princess left. And her maids followed.

"So Sheldon, tell me more about this Dragon" the Prince continued, consulting his aide, after the Princess took leave. "I hear he's the most despicable creature these lands have seen, Sire" said Sheldon, "with a vile breath and a grisly face, one blow from his misshapen nostrils can set anyone on fire, or so they say!". "Hmm, that doesn't sound very encouraging!" the prince thought aloud, when he heard a rustle. "Baa" interrupted a voice. "Sheldon look, someone's hiding behind the bush!". Sheldon and the guards acted quickly and withdrew Syl and a ewe from the shrub. He had been hiding there all along, listening to the fascinating conversation that had come to pass. "Eavesdropping on our Prince, are ye? Pay for it you shall!" said Sheldon, drawing a whip. "Wait!" said the Prince, with a twinkle in his eye. "I know how to make this one pay. Wretched shepherd, you shall fight the dragon today for me! Here, wear my cape and take my horse! Anyone watching from below the hills should think that it is me fighting the foul creature! If you win, I shall take the glory and win the Princess! And if you lose, well, never mind, for I will not end up as the dragon's dinner. March on, slave!".  As he stood there in horror, Syl hardly felt the guards draping him in the Prince's attire and seating him on the horse. They took him up the hill, to where the dragon lived. "Go on now, and win me my treasure!" said the Prince, "I shall wait a few miles from here, ready to ride down the hill victorious!"

Syl walked into the den of the beast, trembling with fear. The place was reeking with the foul odor of rotten meat. As he approached another chamber, he saw something scraped on the wall. It looked like a picture, with a frame carved in. He could make out what appeared to be two large, ugly looking creatures, one with a bow around his neck and another wearing a bridal maid. 'Emily and Ross, Forever' it said, at the bottom of the frame. "Looks like this family might have a guest for dinner tonight, except the guest might be the dinner!" thought Syl, gloomily. As he entered the chamber and caught first sight of what was in store, Syl stood aghast. In front of him lay Ross the dragon, stretched out on the floor, on his giant belly. He could see whiffs of smoke emerging from those horrid nostrils, as the dragon exhaled and drew long breaths in his sleep. The clumsy oaf still had his wedding bowtie around his neck, except it had been turned the wrong way over his back. He seemed to be drooling onto a letter lying next to his hand. Syl picked up the letter and started reading it. However wrong it may be to read another's mail, no respect need be reserved for the harbinger of death, he thought. "Ross my love, leave that wretched fool of a wife and come take me away! We shall live happily together high up in the mountains, as we've always fantasized! Love, P". "Aha, a love affair outside wedlock!" thought Syl. "For all the unsightly features that he beheld, Ross the dragon must be quite a playboy to have enchanted a concubine to his court!" Syl wondered. Suddenly, Ross moved. A swing of his humongous arm left Syl sprawling on the floor, with the letter stuck below the dragon's giant fist. If he awoke now, he would go wild on learning that a puny shepherd had learned of his illicit pleasures, thought Syl. He tried to force the letter out only to have it tear into half. Instantly, Ross awoke with a sweeping motion of his hand, which threw Syl into the air but landed him safe on the bow around the dragon's neck. Syl sat still, clutching on to the bow, hoping Ross would not notice his puny form. A few tense moments passed.

Ross the dragon was a fun loving chap. Except that he loved having fun a bit too much and had to keep his fiancée in the dark about most of his doings. Now that he was married, it was time to try and set his life straight, he thought. He still loved his mistress but knew that he would never survive a day if Emily ever found out. Emily was no ordinary creature of his tribe. She'd blown away, with her flaring nostrils, many a dragon who had tried to court her in younger days. That was until she fell for Ross. He could never understand what she saw in him. But hey, love is blind, he thought. He also knew that he would end up blind, with a few limbs missing if she ever got to know about his affair. And it was this fear that first struck home, when he discovered the letter from his lover, lying in shreds next to him. "Had she found out?" he wondered anxiously. "Is she away, plotting how to rip me into pieces? Oh God! Why am I choking? Has she poisoned me in my sleep?" cried aloud Ross, as the bowtie sagged under Syl's weight, tightening around Ross' neck. Syl, who had so far been counting his lucky stars for not being spotted, was struck by a scheme so devious, he almost let go of the bow to pat himself on the back. He decided to play a little trick on the dragon and planned his escape.

"Ross, Oh Ross!" called out Syl in a slow, low voice, adding more than one 's' needed in Ross' name.

"Who's that? Is someone in here?" cried out Ross, looking around in a state of panic, unaware of tiny Syl riding on his neck.

"This is your conscience Ross!" cried out Syl.

"My what? What are you doing here?"

"You're choking Ross! And we will die here tonight if you let the guilt kill you!"

"Oh no, please! I don't want to die! I know I'm guilty but I can't take this stranglehold any longer!" Ross cried aloud.

"There is only one way out of guilt Ross - Confess!" proclaimed Syl.

"To Emily? She'll kill me!" declared Ross.

"And if you don't, the guilt will get you. And ours shall be a slow and painful death, Ross. Think about it. We know our girl Emily. If you confess and fall at her feet, she might just forgive you! Maybe a week or two on the couch and soon you'll be back in bed, happy as ever!"

As Ross weighed the odds, the noose tightened around his neck making it easy for him to decide.

"Confess Ross, you must confess!" Syl continued the haunting.

"Yes, I shall do it, yes!"

"Go now Ross, before it is too late!"

"Yes, Emily dear, where are you? I can explain everything! Please.." Ross headed out, dragging along Syl around his neck.

Emily the dragon had risen earlier that day with a nasty headache. Ross' incessant snoring had hardly allowed her a good night's sleep, leaving her in a foul mood for any conversation. She'd tried flying up to the mountain peak looking for some dragonroot to help ease her pain but a storm up there had forced a retreat. And it was in this annoyed state that she was met by an agitated Ross.

"Emily dear, before you say or do anything drastic, please let me explain!" pleaded Ross.

"Explain what?" snapped Emily, with hardly a mind to attend to Ross.

"I must confess, my love! I've been engaging in a dreadful affair with a mistress for some time now! I .." Ross began when Emily interrupted - "What? You've had an affair? All these days?" burst out Emily.

Ross slowly nodded his head, trying to plead with his wife. “Please forgive.." - Wham! The next thing he knew, Ross was seeing stars and his nose had turned into a bright red ball of blood. As Emily withdrew her fist preparing for a second blow, Syl held on to the bow. Ross staggered like a drunk. She landed a hard right hand on his chin, forcing Ross high up into the air. Syl managed to let go at the right time, sliding on the dragon's back and down its tail. Meanwhile, a small crowd had gathered at the bottom of the hills. All they could see was a figure in a cape, holding on to the tail of a giant monster that seemed to have been knocked straight into the air. "Bravo, young Prince!" cried someone down there.

The real Prince, meanwhile, watched all the action from a neighboring peak behind the dragon hill, wearing a smug smile. It had all gone according to plan, he thought. The shepherd had managed to defeat the beast and one of his stooges had ensured that it was all watched by a crowd, including the Princess, from the grasslands below. "Ha! Time to ride down and proclaim victory! Time to sweep my darling Princess off her feet and ride home with her! Time for wedding bells to..."

As the pompous Prince busied himself in self-glory, he neither heard Sheldon shriek in horror, nor noticed the giant shadow growing quickly on the ground beneath his feet. The last sight he ever caught was a large pair of dragon wings and a rock hard spine lodged between them, headed straight for him from the skies. Such had been the grand wallop that Emily had inflicted on Ross, sending him bouncing from hill to hill.

Syl, who'd managed to land into a prickly shrub, busied himself picking out the thorns from his back, when he heard the cheer from down below. He stood up and took stock of the situation. Emily the dragon had taken off to sob on her dear father's shoulder, high up in the mountains. The evil Prince had been quashed into ketchup by Ross on the hill behind, leaving him the only figure standing tall in a cape that the crowd below celebrated. "Well, this is more than I'd hoped for!" thought a delighted Syl. He quickly mounted his horse and headed down the hill, his arm raised in victory.

As Syl rode into cheers of 'Hail, brave Prince!', the young Princess came running to him. Syl alighted from his steed and began in a spirited voice- "Fear not Princess, for I have slain the beast that has tormented you for long! 'Tis only right that a brave young man like me walk the aisle, hand in hand, with your graceful form. Marry me, love!".

"You idiot!" shrieked the Princess, to everyone's shock. "What have you done with him?" she cried in disgust.

Suddenly, a dark cloud gathered over the crowd. A large creature descended from the skies, looking bruised all over. Ross huffed and puffed as he made his way down and grabbed the Princess by her waist.

"Princess! come away with me...Emily's gone...not anymore..we both together, forever!" Ross wheezed.

"Oh Ross, my love!" exclaimed the Princess, as the stupefied crowd watched on. "Are you hurt? Is it true? Can we fly away to the mountains? But what if she comes back?" she cried out, hurling multiple anxious queries at Ross, while he gathered his breath.

"Fear not love, for I shall promptly obtain a restraining order against her from the Court of the Dragons! I shall even register a plaint for domestic violence! Now come, we must hurry before that witch sets her father on my trail!" saying which, Ross lodged the Princess gently on his back and flew high up into the skies.

Syl stood traumatized by what he had just witnessed. "What just happened?" he wondered. His mind went back to Ross' letter. "'...Love,P'. P? Was P the P in Princess? the Princess and Ross, the dragon?". Who on earth would have dreamt of it? But is love really that blind? Syl stood there lost in thought.

"Baa" interrupted someone. The sheep were back, as always bringing silly Ol' Syl back to reality. "Darn it! There goes a nice fantasy!" thought Syl, looking up at the skies.